Monday, March 19, 2012

The Gorilla

The Amazing Adventures of Patsy Kelly!

Presenting a marvelous masterful masterpiece of classic fiction, the like of which has hardly ever been achieved outside the hallowed halls of  Stan Lee comics!!!


You'll gasp in agonized astonishment at the thrilling struggle between man and beast! You'll howl with laughter as Patsy Kelly makes "Patsies" of the Ritz Brothers, who couldn't be called "stooges" because the name had already been taken!!! You'll reach for your candy and popcorn and it'll already be gone before your hand can get there!!!



Who is the Gorilla? Is it Bela Lugosi? Is it Ham Brooks?  Is it Monk Mayfair? Do even the Ritz Brothers know for sure? Can even Patsy Kelly of  "The Adventures of Patsy" solve the mystery?



The Ritz Brothers look for the Gorilla


And find him, which is quickly forgotten so that it will still be a new idea when they meet him again.


A Monster is on the loose! And terrorizing the city!



Patsy Kelly reads Romeo and Juliet by candlelight. It's hot stuff, at least, if you get your hand too close.


"Who's that?"
Could it be- THE GORILLA?


"There was someone at the window - and they left this note!"


"It says, 'Patsy Kelly is next to die!' See?"

"It does not! It says 'Walter Stevens'!"

"Well, maybe that was the only name they could find!"



"I'll summon help at once!"


But next to arrive are Blonde Dynamite and her boyfriend Sparky .


"Welcome!"


They sit by the fire to toast marshmellows, but the marshmellows turn up missing. Could this be the work of the Gorilla?


What's this? "Acme"? This isn't another Rotten Rabbit story, is it?


No, it's the Ritz Brothers. Almost, but not quite as forgotten as the Rotten Rabbits, and a lot funnier. Dead dogs are funnier than the Rotten Rabbits.


Besides which these guys are using the "Scooby-Doo" type of format, rather than being locked for all eternity in an endless loop of  stale "acme" jokes.


Patsy Kelly offers cookies and milk, but it seems the cookies are missing. What will happen next?


An ironing board falls on the head of one of the Ritz brothers, that's what happens! Quick, Patsy, rush him to the infirmiry!


The gorilla sneaks in and takes a drink while no one's looking. And another. And another.


The milk's gone! Whodunnit?


The culprit left no fingerprints! Could this mean it was the work of - The Gorilla?


Not too interested in the precedings, a member of the cast sneaks over to the snack bar in the theater and gets some popcorn.


"Was that you I heard eating popcorn?"
"They were all out of candy!"
Could the mystery of the missing candy be the work of the Gorilla?


The Gorilla swipes all the popcorn!


Not only are there no fingerprints, but even the box the popcorn was in has been burned beyond recognition.


Patsy wishes she had some of that popcorn. She mutters something about hair of the dog, or maybe the gorilla,  but even without it this is a kind of a hairy situation they're in.


"Maybe if we search the place we'll be able to find pieces of popcorn the gorilla dropped! Then we'll have something to eat, even if we can't find any clues to his identity!


But all they could find was a dumb gag.


Which is about what you'd expect from these guys.


"Now for another Gorilla crime!"


They thought no one could find the secret stash, but they hadn't figured on the Gorilla's uncanny simian instinct for CANDY!


Everyone confronts everyone with the incrimating evidence, which did not exsist till now.


"Hands up! You're the Gorilla!"


"No, you're the Gorilla!"


"He can't be, because I'M the Gorilla!"


"Now let's see who he really is!"


Who really is the Gorilla?



It's PATSY KELLY!!!


"It's a gyp!"
"We was robbed!"
"I'm walkin' outta the theater!!!"



"The joke's on you! You paid to see this movie - we didn't!

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